CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We"ve discovered a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We"ve obtained a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We"ve discovered a witch! We"ve found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!

VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch. May we burn her?

CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: How perform you recognize she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.

CROWD: Right! Yeah! Yeah!

BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

WITCH: I"m not a witch. I"m not a witch.

BEDEVERE: Uh, yet you are dressed as one.

WITCH: They dressed me up prefer this.

CROWD: Augh, we didn"t! We didn"t...

WITCH: And this isn"t my nose. It"s a false one.


VILLAGER #1: Well, we did carry out the nose.

BEDEVERE: The nose?

VILLAGER #1: And the hat, however she is a witch!

VILLAGER #2: Yeah!

CROWD: We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up favor this?


VILLAGER #2 and 3: No. No.



VILLAGERS #2 and #3: No.



VILLAGER #1: Yes. Yeah, a bit.

VILLAGER #3: A little.

VILLAGERS #1 and #2: A little bit.

VILLAGER #3: A little bit.

VILLAGER #1: She has obtained a wart.


BEDEVERE: What provides you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me right into a newt.


VILLAGER #3: I acquired better.

VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!

VILLAGER #1: Burn!

CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Tbelow are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

VILLAGER #1: Are there?


VILLAGER #1: What are they?

CROWD: Tell us! Tell us!...

VILLAGER #2: Do they hurt?

BEDEVERE: Tell me. What carry out you do via witches?

VILLAGER #2: Burn!

VILLAGER #1: Burn!

CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1: More witches!


VILLAGER #2: Wood!

BEDEVERE: So, why perform witches burn?

VILLAGER #3: B--... "reason they"re made of... wood?

BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.

CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.

BEDEVERE: So, just how execute we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE: Ah, yet deserve to you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.

RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

BEDEVERE: Does hardwood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1: No. No.

VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!

CROWD: The pond! Throw her right into the pond!

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Uh, extremely little rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!


VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!

ARTHUR: A duck!

CROWD: Oooh.

BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...

VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs... the very same as a duck,... she"s made of hardwood.

BEDEVERE: And therefore?

VILLAGER #2: A witch!

VILLAGER #1: A witch!

CROWD: A witch! A witch!...

VILLAGER #4: Here is a duck. Use this duck.

BEDEVERE: Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

CROWD: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

BEDEVERE: Right. Rerelocate the supports!

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch!

WITCH: It"s a fair cop.

VILLAGER #3: Burn her!

CROWD: Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...

BEDEVERE: Who are you that are so wise in the methods of science?

ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Brilots.

BEDEVERE: My liege!

ARTHUR: Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and sign up with us at the Round Table?

BEDEVERE: My liege! I would be honored.

ARTHUR: What is your name?

BEDEVERE: "Bedevere", my liege.

ARTHUR: Then I dub you "Sir Bedemere, Knight of the Round Table".

Narrative Interlude

NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur"s knights, however other illustrious names were shortly to follow: Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Gallahad actually the Pure, and also Sir Robin the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, who had actually almost battled the Dragon of Angnor, who had virtually stood approximately the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and also who had actually personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film.

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Together they developed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: The Knights of the Round Table.

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