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Buddhist Humor

Driving in India A monk was driving in India once all of a sudden a dog crosses the road. The car hit and also eliminated the dog. The monk looked approximately and also seeing a holy place, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: "I"m terribly sorry, however my karma ran over your dogma."
Walking on waterThree monks determined to exercise meditation together. They sat by the side of a lake and also closed their eyes in concentration. Then unexpectedly, the first one stood up and also said, "I forobtained my mat." He stepped miraculously onto the water in front of him and also walked across the lake to their hut on the various other side. When he reverted, the second monk stood up and also sassist, "I foracquired to put my various other underwear to dry." He also walked calmly throughout the water and also reverted the exact same means.The 3rd monk watched the initially 2 very closely in what he chose need to be the test of his own abilities. "Is your discovering so remarkable to mine? I as well can match any type of feat you two can percreate," he asserted loudly and rushed to the water"s edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water. Undeterred, the yogi climbed out of the water and also tried aobtain, only to sink right into the water. Yet aobtain he climbed out and also yet aobtain he tried, each time sinking right into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched. After a while, the second monk turned to the first and sassist, "Do you think we must tell him where the stones are?"
Q: What did a Buddhist say to the warm dog vendor?A: Make me one via everything. (The warm dog seller prepares the hot dog and gives it to the monk. The monk pays him and asks for the adjust. The warm dog merchant says: "Change originates from within".)
Q: What is the name of the best Zen teacher?A: M.T. Ness
Q: How many Zen buddhists does it require to change a light bulb?A: None, they are the light bulb.
Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally soaked up through the computer he is working with?A: He enters Nerdvana.
Once there was a monk that was an expert on the Diamond Sutra, and also as books were exceptionally useful in his day, he brought the only copy in his component of the world on his back. He was widely sought after for his readings and also insight into the Diamond Sutra, and also exceptionally effective at propounding its profundities to not only monks and also masters yet to the lay people too. Hence the human being of that area pertained to know of the Diamond Sutra, and also as the monk was traveling on a hill road, he came upon an old woman selling tea and cakes. The hungry monk would have actually loved to refresh himself, but alas, he had no money. He told the old woguy, "I have actually upon my earlier a treasure beyond knowing -- the Diamond Sutra. If you will give me some tea and also cakes, I will tell you of this great treasure of expertise." The old woman knew somepoint of the Diamond Sutra herself, and also proposed her own barobtain. She shelp, "Oh learned monk, if you will certainly answer a simple question, I will certainly offer you tea and also cakes." To this the monk easily agreed. The woman then sassist, "When you eat these cakes, are you eating through the mind of the past, the mind of the present or the mind of the future?" No answer occurred to the monk, so he took the fill from his ago and obtained out the text of the Diamond Sutra, hoping he might uncover the answer. As he studied and pondered, the day flourished late and the old woman packed up her things to go house for the day. "You are a foolish monk indeed," shelp the old woguy as she left the hungry monk in his quandary. "You eat the tea and cakes with your mouth."
The ParatrooperA paratrooper was scared to jump. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha" and also you will certainly be saved." The paratrooper obtained so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out and also saved him.


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See more: If It Is Important To You You Will Find A Way, If It Is Important To You, You Will Find A Way

He sassist, "Thank God," and he was dropped.

Dharma the Cat

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