While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is just because there is no such thing.

You are watching: Things dr bright is not allowed to do

There is no sector for SCP brand also pornography. 1.No, not also in Germany type of.

Victims of SCP-217 are not toys. 1.Nor are they to be supplied as props at a Steampunk Convention.

. Not also for recreational usage.

Not permitted to send Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church of the Broken God.

Not permitted to end reports with lyrics from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". 1.But is allowed to finish via lyrics from the Safety Dance. 2.The interpretive dance regimen, yet, is forbidden until he gets lessons for the foreseeable future.

Dr. Bideal is NOT: A superhero of any kind of kind, Head of Public Relations, in charge of Orientation for brand-new staff, a doctor of psychology, a member of Site Command, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head of SCP Review, or a member of Maintenance Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Bbest IS a member of Site Command also. It's typically finest not to ask why. It's O5 Command also you're reasoning of.)

No much longer enabled to comprise jodies for morning calisthenics. 1.Yes, this includes The Micvital Mouse Club song.

Dr. Bappropriate is not permitted to apply SCP-963 to any kind of significant political numbers. Again.

Dr. Bbest is not from an alternative timeline. 1.Dr. Bbest cannot issue orders to "maintain the timeline". 2.Or to "corrupt the timeline". 3.Or to "screw with those history nerds".

1.Chainsaws are not the solution to eexceptionally question.1.Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.2.Or "Chainsaw cannons"1.Except for that once. And yes, it was awesome.SCP speed dating never before happened. Any one that clintends to remember such an occasion must report to Site Command for management of Class A amnesiac.

Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'

"My evil twin did it" is no much longer taken into consideration a viable excusage. 1.Nor is "My excellent twin did it," considering the implications.

Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't immediately become D-class personnel.

The "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" is not grounds to pit more than fifteenager combative SCPs, including SCP-682 and Able, against each other. 1."Weeding out some of these angsty teenagers with attitude troubles," however, is. 2.Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to provide 'Free Hugs.'

The Foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any kind of of the following: 1."Stab Carrion Powerfully" 2."Let's use it on 682!" 3."Throw the cheese!" 4."That's it, you're on Keter Duty." 5."Can we put it in 914?" 6."Blood renders the grass thrive, kill, kill, kill!" 7."Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfucker!" 8."Someone is acquiring stabbed." 1.But some days, it must be. 9."Whose hand also is that?" 10."If all else fails, poop on it." 11."If all else fails, there's constantly the sunlight." 12."We require bigger kit10s." 13."Society of Creepy Perverts." 14."Fuck Death, War, Starvation and Pestilence. We've obtained Clef, Gears, Kondraki and also Bideal." 15."Throw D-Class at it till it stops." 16."447 and also dead bodies, two great tastes that taste excellent together." 17."The FBI are a bunch of pansies." 18."Who wants to watch what I can make the president do in public?" 19."For the Horde!" 20."Science for the Science God!" 21."Make sure to wipe your feet on 2558!" 22."When in doubt, feed it to 682." 23."Slapstick, Clowns and also Puns" 24."Drop the blanket now!" 25."Seduction, Coitus, and also Pregnancy" 26."We constantly need even more Dakka!" 27."Still Alive, and also Found the Cake" 28."Don't Worry, O5 won't ever figure it out!" 29."Will it blend?" 30."Commies love us!" 31."Snap Crackle and Pop"

Dr. Bideal is no much longer permitted to market the solution of "Use more guns" to any trouble. 1.Or "Get bigger firearms."

In spite of what he may say and any proof, no issue exactly how plausible, the SCP Foundation has never and also will never before be linked through Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and also Wizardry, and regardless of what Dr. Bright might say, he is not, and also I quote, "A genuine life wizarding tutor." 1.Nor is he a vampire. That was body glitter and poor acting. 2.And despite what the computer file on him may say, he is not Muad'dib. The spice have the right to circulation just fine without him.

Cthulhu and also R'lyeh are not valid reasons to send Pandora's Box out into the Pacific Ocean in order to capture them. Additionally, these are not also SCPs, and also I will discover the person who determined to enter a database file for them.

Dr. Bappropriate is not permitted to upfill visual memetic kill agents to 4chan 7chan any kind of imageboard. 1.Well, okay, probably to 4chan. It'd be doing the gene pool a service.

Dr. Bideal is no longer enabled to accept or use the complying with as payment for bets: 1.Your heart 2.Anyone else's spirit 3.Virgin's blood 4.Reabundant organs 5.SCPs 6.Memories (genuine or imagined) 7.Pieces of your past I have no concept just how that operated via Clef, but supposedly he deserve to perform it. 8.The island also of Manhattan 9.Beads 10.Firstborn youngsters 11.Second-born children 12.Red-headed stepyoungsters 13.Rented mules 14.Gold spun from straw 15.A child's laughter 16.A child's tears 17.Virginity 18.Ponies 19.Anyone's grandmother 20.Anyone's grandpa 21.Anyone's sister 22.Any blood relative

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to gain on the PA system at website 19 and announce that he simply won The Game You know what, Dr. Bright is simply never before permitted on the PA system for any type of factor, ever.

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to dare brand-new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' with either SCP-569 or SCP-173.

When ordering points digital, send them to PO Box ████ and also not directly to Site 19. We've already had actually 3 postmales show up at the front door. (How did they also find us?) Dr. Bbest is not to give directions to Site 19 to non-Foundation personnel.

The SCP Foundation does not have any kind of such position as "Chief Defenestrator". 1.Wrong. 1.Agent Clef is not enabled to create new positions.

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to usage SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2. 1.Yes, a Medigun would be a valuable tool for the Foundation medical staff. No, we are not going to waste any more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after SCP-427. 2.Dr. Bideal is not permitted to use SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.

Dr. Bideal possesses the capability of consciousness transport and also the artitruth SCP-963. He does not possess any of the following: 1."laser" eyes. 2."laser" nostrils. 3."laser" . 4.a Eco-friendly Red ANY Lantern Ring. 5.an "adamantium" skeleton. 6.Anduril. 7.Mjolnir. 8.a map causing "ALL OF THE NAZI GOLD". 9.the "Ancient" medallion. 10.a copy of the Necronomsymbol. 1.A King James variation of the Necronomsymbol. 11.cybernetic implants of any type of type. 12.the "Dragonzord". I don't care just how you did it, put it BACK. 13.the 7th Element of Harmony. 14.infallible "gaydar". 15.infallible "jewdar". 16.the touch. 17.the power. 18.the "secret" 19.telepathy. 20.telekinesis. 21.the original filming design of any fictional spacecraft. 22.1337 H4x00r sKi11z. 23.the 6th feeling. 24.The ability to distinguish in between butter and also I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

SCP-963 is not a 'spirit gem', and making a contract with Dr. Bideal will certainly not turn you right into a 'magical girl'. 1.Not even if he consists of a 'magical girl outfit'.

SCP-963 is not the Soul Gem. Bbest does not have actually accessibility to the Infinity Gauntlet. Please stop glaring at civilization that annoy you and also snapping.

Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to "America's Funniest Home Videos". 1.Or posted on YouTube. 2.Or on YouPorn. 3.Or to Tosh.0.

The complying with are not proper resources for D-course personnel: 1.Temp agencies. 2.Craigslist. 3.Reality display talent pools. 4.Jerry Springer tapings. 5."Orphans." 6."Urchins." 7."Ragamuffins." 8."Those sons of bitches that scratched up my paint task at the automobile wash." 9.Ex-girlfriends. 10.Ex-boyfriends. 11.Ex-partners of any kind of gender variation whatsoever. 12.Staff members' in-legislations. 13.Youtube comment threads. 14.Forum trolls. 15.Angsty teens. 16.Bad applications to the SCP Foundation. Two exceptions have actually been made, yet the remainder are off boundaries. 17.Occupy Wall surface Street. 18.The Tea Party. 19.The Environment-friendly Party. 20.The "Green" Party. 21.The Gathering of the Juggalos. 1.How the fuck perform they work?

The complying with items are not SCPs: 1.Rainbows. 2.Double rainbows. 3."Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise. 4.The tides. 5.The Moon. 6."Fucking magnets". 7.Rocks that skip 3 times prior to they go underwater. 8.Soy cheese. 9.Hippies. 10.Hipsters. 11."MILFs." 12."G-MILFs." 13."GG-MILFs." 14."Actually funny SNL skits" As these perform not exist, they cannot be SCPs. 15.Anyone's breasts. 16.People that can deal with Rubik's Cubes (of any size). 17.Shiny Any Pokemon.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to test internet "Creepypasta" rites using Class-D personal.

"Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look at her."

SCP-173 is not a babysitter. Having SCP-173 play 'Where's the baby?' is downright cruel. Not, as Dr. Bright clintends, ' hilarious.'

Playing the song "Thriller" in the existence of SCP-008 victims is expressly forbidden. 1.Letting out SCP-008 victims and also punching them "to simulate Minecraft" is likewise forbidden. 2.Pushing several agents in front of SCP-008 victims "to simulate Resident Evil" is not a valid excuse, either. 3.Dr. Bideal is no much longer allowed near victims of SCP-008.

Even if Dr. Bbest is wearing an eyepatch, he is not permitted to "Keel-Haul" anyone. 1.Not even on "Talk Like a Piprice Day". 2.Talk Like a Piprice Day is not permitted to be celebrated at Site ██. Any personnel violating this ascendancy will certainly walk the plank be sevedepend disciplined. 3.There is no such point as "Talk Like a Ninja" day, and Dr. Bideal is not permitted to create it.

Dr. Bright is not enabled to play "SCP Roulette" with SCP-173, a light switch and any kind of combicountry of D-course and new personnel.

Dr. Bright is not enabled to "go on crusade". 1.Or on "jihad". 2.Dr. Bappropriate is not permitted to worry fatwas versus anyone or anything.

Dr. Bappropriate is no longer allowed to declare "After ten thousand also years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" upon assuming a new organize.

Dr. Bappropriate is not, nor has he ever before been, the "Undiscussed SCP Intercontinental Champion".

Dr. Bright is no much longer permitted to run with Site 19 any kind of site while screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" unmuch less it's an actual emergency. 1.Claiming it's for study on the impacts of social engineering is not an emergency. 2.Nor is using it to clear out the locations Dr. Bbest is otherwise limited from entering because of reasons provided on this list. 3.Dr. Bideal might not start referring to any persons or SCPs as "The Keter" in order to circumvent these rules, unless they are actually classified as Keter.

Dr. Bappropriate is no longer enabled to use the words "swag" , "swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to define himself or any type of various other person(s).

Dr. Bappropriate is not permitted to stop in a voice resembling a movie character. 1.Dr. Bideal is not enabled to reenact any kind of movie. Even G-rated ones? Even G-rated ones.

Dr. Bideal is no longer enabled to say "Everypoint the Bideal touches is our kingdom"

Dr. Bideal may not urge bereaved staff members to "look at the Bbest side". 1.Nor is he enabled to refer to any kind of name-associated puns as " Bbest ideas". 2.Dr. Bideal is not allowed to describe any SCPs, Foundation resources, or personnel as his "sophisticated dancing pants".

Dr. Bbest is no much longer enabled to commit "Seppuku." 1.Even if he has actually an audience. 2.Especially a captive one.

Dr. Bbest is no much longer enabled to commission, develop, advertise, or display animated videos to containment staff anyone via the subject, "What Happens When You Fuck Up Containing SCP (insert SCP here)" 1.NO, it is NOT educational, Bbest. Not the means you display it.

Dr. Bbest is not allowed to create a "The Things Dr Bappropriate Is Allowed To Do At The Foundation" list by listing whatever that isn't on this list. Just because it isn't on this list doesn't expect you need to perform it. 1.He might however repursuit for one to be produced. 2.He might not, yet, imply what have to be on said list.

Dr. Bideal might not refer to anyone as a "peasant."

Dr. Bright is not enabled to arselection gladiatorial arena combat in between D-course, also ESPECIALLY if any type of SCPs are supplied as tools.

SCP-173 does not "simply desire a hug" and also Dr. Bideal may not attempt to convince anyone otherwise.

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to attack instances of SCP-217 claiming that "the Borg have actually attacked".

Dr. Bright is not permitted to start any kind of drag races between D-classes in cars and SCP-096.

Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to yell out "Immigration!" near any kind of foreign personnel.

Doctor Bideal is not enabled to convince new personnel ANYONE to "have a friendly staring contest with SCP-096."

Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to send a Slinky dvery own SCP-087.

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to claim that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is the new "Master of Butterflies" because of her substantial occupational on butterfly-associated SCP items. 1."King of the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, not also if Kondraki really is dead, which, if true, Dr. Bbest isn't cleared to know. 2.Researcher Zyn Kiryu is also not to be referred to by Dr. Bright as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mistress of the Butterflies", "Supreme Princess of the Butterflies", "Great Shepherd of the Butterflies", "2nd Cousin of the Butterflies", or "Major Associate of the Butterflies," or any other grandiose title referring to butterflies.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell brand-new Foundation recruits fictional horror stories involving his family.

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Dr. Bideal is not enabled to tell brand-new Foundation recruits factual horror stories entailing his family members.

Okay, that assumed it was a good concept to let him have actually a tiktok account to read off all of these?