All the solos in the WINGS album are really good. The even more I listen to them, the even more I make these weird theories; the more I relate them to my life.

You are watching: I wish i could love myself

And that"s why I determined to preorder the next album :sob: Ah I can"t wait. But currently I"m totally broke :sob: :sob:

ANYWAYS! I"ve been listening to "Reflection" a lot recently and even though I haven"t finiburned the book yet (Demian), it currently appears favor I"ve hit the suggest wbelow this song relates to it. So I wanted to write this review/evaluation :D

Song: Reflection

Performer: RAPMONSTER, BTS

Lyrics and also Composition: RAPMONSTER, Slow Rabbit

Album: WINGS

The instrumental

It"s extremely melancholic. It starts out via noise as if the perchild is in a public area (street, marketarea, train station) and then that sound fades out into the melancholic synthesizer and also piano sound.

In my mind, that sort of provides the feeling of pulling ameans from fact and also into your own world. That start for me--it"s favor as soon as I offered to commute to college. While waiting for the train, it"d be semi-loud--little chit-chats from other human being waiting, the sun still hasn"t come up and the weather is cold, however I"m comfortable in my heat clothes; and then I put on my earphones and also gradually the noise fades amethod and I feel like I"m in my very own people.

Though I prefer that feeling sometimes, it"s extremely lonely. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people talking to someone. And that"s precisely what the melody feels--lonely.


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The vocals

I"ve constantly loved Rapmon"s deep, raspy voice. In this particular song though, he made it sound extremely melancholic. Ah, the rasp in his voice, the slowness, it"s as if he"s been broken and also helpless.

The tones--the start of each stanza seem to be going to a accumulation however it conveniently drops apart. Like he"s offering up. Like he knows that even if he tries, it"ll all finish up as a waste.

This sort of feeling is prevalent for transitions--choose transitioning from youth to adulthood. It"s tough and also though you want to try and also be effective, the amount of failures simply pushes you dvery own and also you know, without appropriate encouragements, it"s hard to keep trying.



The lyrics

Long evaluation as always! Here goes. :sob:

"I understand eextremely life"s a movie,

We acquired various stars and stories.

We obtained various nights and also mornings.

Our scenarios ain"t simply boring.

I uncover this movie exceptionally ammaking use of.

Everyday I want to shoot it well.

I desire to caress myself."

"But you know, periodically I really hate myself.

To be hocolony, rather regularly, I really hate myself.

And as soon as I perform, I go to Ttukseom

I just stand also tright here via the acquainted darkness"

This beginning part of the song seem exceptionally existential to me :sob: .

It"s prefer thriving up, you know? You realize every person is different--different emotions, means of reasoning, etc.

He finds this beautiful--that everyone"s unique and also different. But then, in another place in his mind, he hates it. Why? Due to the fact that he also discovered out that you have the right to never before really understand a perboy then. They"re also various from himself and also that makes him lonely.

In relation to Demian, the start of that book likewise talked around how you can"t really ever before understand someone else. Even your family or friends. "We can understand also each various other but each of us have the right to truly grasp and translate just himself." (Hesse, T.S. Damion Seals, Demian, 2)


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"With human being smiling and beer,

Which provides me smile

Fear comes to me softly, holding my hand also."

"In the darkness, world look happier than the day.

Everyone else knows wright here they"re meant to be.

But only I walk without objective.

But still, blending via them is more comfortable.

Ttukseom, which has actually swenabled up the night

Hands me an entirely various world."

I think the singer questions his visibility because he"s lonely. He can think that civilization exist for the sake of others. I sort of execute too in a way--prefer, you can"t live without others. You have to be assured that someone will love you, encourage you--and also comes through that, the negative points. But for the singer, he has actually namong those. None to bully him or hate him, none to love him either.


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In relation to Demian, there"s a part in the book wbelow the protagonist goes to a different institution much ameans and loses all contact with his previous friends and also enemies. In the brand-new institution, he is either loved nor hated. His adversary and also friend are gone. And he always takes a walk--which calms him dvery own though makes him realize his loneliness as well. After that, he began relying on beer to cope via the loneliness bereason whenever before he drinks, human being seem to concerned him.

Now I"m not very acquainted through Korea, but through a quick google search, I discovered that Ttukseom is a retype station? So a public area. It would seem that human being that come here would be happy and also being discussed in this song is sort of unusual. So what reflects up in my mind is this lonely perboy on the sidelines--entirely ameans from this happy, social world however still looking over them, looking over the beauty, and feeling helpless and also hopeless...and alone.


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That telephone booth--to me it seems as if it is a connection to the external people. The social world. Where the happy human being are. But since he can not reach it, he can"t obtain out of his very own lonely human being.

It"s sort of prefer the battles of social anxiety, right? Like you want to have friends, you want to be encouraged, you desire to be happy and comfortable in your surroundings, but you simply can not obtain out. Can"t reach out to civilization.

Overall

The reality that it made me cry makes it impressive. His voice fits so well with the melancholic feeling--likes he"s getting frustrated but provides up. The hopelessness and the loneliness of life. And of course, the last lines of the song.

"I wish I might love myself."

It"s prefer a plea for help. Though he whispers it like no one will certainly hear him.

People say that you can not truly love others unless you love yourself first. So it"s choose saying how he wishes to have relations via other people.

Like with the totality album, this song talks about the battle of transitioning to adulthood. In that time and age, some human being have no clear vision of the path to their future so they wander, lost and helpless. But imagine being alone in this phase. In contrast through Jin"s Awake, tbelow appears to be no one providing catalyst to Rapmonster and therefore, the song offers a feeling that he has actually no determination for the future.


BTS entirely blew me amethod via this album. I"ve never before written so many kind of evaluation for one album. Aaaaahhhh so excellent.

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I desire to compose more testimonial and also evaluation for the various other solos also however that can take a while.