9 Ways Some People Will Take Advantage of You

Is someone in your life slowly driving you up a wall?

Posted March 6, 2015 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan


When we were assigned teams for our senior project in college, Sheila impressed us with her confidence and also obvious specialization. But Terri, Dan, and also I finished up doing all the occupational, while she added only empty assures and also a people of excsupplies.

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Our team agreed to satisfy each week in the time of the hour before our senior seminar to work on the job, however Sheila retained absent the meetings. Instead, eextremely week, she’d come waltzing in to class, claiming that we hadn’t told her, or she’d never before gained our e-mails, or she’d been stuck in website traffic, or she had a migraine.

The project was worth more than fifty percent our course grade and also the remainder of us were getting worried. We continued to satisfy consistently, preparing the research articles for our project. When Sheila lastly came up via an article, it was all wrong. So Terri uncovered another one, Dan and also I composed it up, and also the 3 of us finimelted the group work-related together. The day of our presentation, Sheila appeared in class, all smiles, as our team got an A.

Using charm, denial, and also lies while playing the victim, Sheila demonstrated what psychologist George Simon has actually called “concealed aggressive” behavior. While some human being would define this habits “passive aggressive,” as Simon points out, there is nothing passive around it.

Deceiving and manipulating us to obtain what they want, covert aggressors extremely actively try to regulate other civilization.

Here are some of the methods Simon defines in his book, In Sheep’s Clothing (2010, pp.118-134):

Seduction. Manipulating you via cdamage and also flattery, and playing on your require for approval.Lying. Telling blatant lies, misrepresenting the fact, or being deliberately vague.Denial. Refmaking use of to admit they’ve said or done something, which have the right to make you begin doubting yourself.Selective Inattention. Deliberately brushing you off by actively ignoring your requests or e-mails.Divariation. When asked a question, altering the subject to throw you off course.Shaming. Putting you down and utilizing sarcasm and critical comments to make you feel so inadequate that you give in to them. Playing the Victim. Using exaggerated complaints around their hardships to make you feel sorry for them so they obtain what they want.Feigning Ignorance or Confusion. Playing dumb, or acting prefer they don’t know what you’re talking around, which can throw you off balance and also make you doubt yourself.

Do any of these methods sound familiar? Have you ever before been emotionally ambumelted by a coercive friend, coworker, or family member? Knowledge is power. Recognizing these tricks deserve to help save you from obtaining hurt.

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Simon, G. (2010) In sheep’s clothing: Understanding and also dealing with manipulative people. Little Rock, AR: Parkhurst Brothers, Inc.