Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here readily available to do that for me?
Ross: civilization (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
You are watching: Friends the one with the sharks
Phoebe: oh umm Mike"s picking me up for a date.
Ross: oh yea now um exactly how is that going, is it obtaining serious?
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I favor him however am I all set to take my grade a loins off the meat industry.
Ross: you know I really admire your totality dating mindset, it"s so healthy and balanced I"m always favor is this moving to fast? Is this relocating to slow? Where"s this going?
Phoebe: yea you understand you are a little of a drama queen.
Ross: yet you, your so much much better off you just go from male to male having actually fun and never before worrying that it terns into anypoint serious.
Phoebe: I wouldn"t say never, you understand there"s that male (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there"s gotta be someone.
Ross: Tbelow isn"t that"s what I"m saying. (All happy)
Phoebe: Oh my god you"re ideal.
Ross: I recognize and yet right here you are all prepared for the next day.
Phoebe: I can not believe I never realized this prior to, I"m in my thirty"s and also never been in a long-term connection oh my god (starts crying) what"s wrong via me.
Ross: no, no, no there"s nothing wrong through you I mean you don"t strike me as the form of person that wants to obtain married anymethod.
Phoebe: I wanna acquire married (grabs a tissue)
Ross: please do not cry because of me pheebs I do not know what I"m talking about, I"ve been divorced three times.
Phoebe: leastern you"ve been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna profession resides via Ross (cries more)
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what"s wrong?
Phoebe: nopoint, I"m excited around our day, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Ross: I"m sorry I didn"t capture.
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Ross: Oh Ross Geller
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your all set to go.
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how carry out I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
Ross: perform you have actually a compact in your purse?
Phoebe: (goes to cry) No
Ross: you look excellent.
Monica:: hey Joey
Joey: Hey, this girl will not turn approximately and also I can not tell whether she"s warm or not, what perform you think?
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify womale via you (looks at the woman) however if her confront is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: Alideal thanks, Oh hey have actually you talked to Chandler?
Monica:: yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend
Joey: just how come?
Monica:: he has to job-related, there"s some rush on the substantial (pause, thinks) ah damn it among these days I"m really gonna need to start listening when he talks about his project.
Joey: oh why don"t you fly out tright here and also surprise him.
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will certainly have a 2nd honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
Joey: oh and also you recognize what you must carry the black see-with teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
Monica:: exactly how carry out you recognize I have one of those?
Joey: didn"t till simply now.
(Monica goes to the back and also Joey looks at the girl)
Joey: warm not hot (she turns around) Hot!
Hayley: excuse me?
Joey: I shelp I think you"re hot and now I"m embarrassed.
Hayley: oh I believed you said Hi.
Joey: that would"ve been much better, I"ll attempt that Hi I"m Joey.
Hayley: I"m Hayley.
Joey: look I do not normally ask out women that I accomplish in coffeehouses
Joey: (transforms round) gesundheit
Hayley: I would certainly love to go out via you.
Joey: really, great, did I actually ask you?
Hayley: no that"s simply wbelow you were going I just figured that I"d help you out, you don"t seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot.
Joey: (transforms round again) seriously Gunther you should watch someone around that cold, if it gets a lot worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
Ross: so how"d the date go?
Phoebe: well it was awful eincredibly time I thought around what you said I began crying.
Ross: So he hasn"t called?
Phoebe: would certainly you speak to this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Ross: currently I feel disastrous this is all my fault.
Phoebe: well you not what you need to feel devastating around, this might have actually been my significant man he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you understand exactly how difficult it is to meet a guy favor that?
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Hayley: what a good dinner.
Joey: yeah and hey many thanks aacquire for letting me having that last item of cake at the restaurant.
Hayley: (laughs) your welcome aget, I"m gonna make some coffee deserve to I get you anything?
Joey: carry out you have any cake?
(Hayley laughs and also goes into the kitchen reasoning it"s a joke, Joey does not watch what"s so funny around it)
Joey: (bends down to check out and also the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That"s why.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens up it) Hey Mike sorry to simply drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Ross: I"m Ross, Phoebe"s friend from the coffeehome.
Ross: yeah I really, really should talk to you around something.
Mike: Ok, unless you"re not gonna try to obtain me to join a cult are you?
Ross: (laughs) No
Mike: oh it"s just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Ross: Damn super cuts!
Mike: what"s up is Phoebe ok?
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is excellent, yet umm I"m an idiot look ideal prior to you males went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Mike: that"s why she was weird.
Ross: yes, yeah I said somepoint stupid about her never before having had a significant partnership, however you should understand she is so much fun, a wonderful perkid please don"t blow her off.
Mike: I"m not blowing her off, I actually simply acquired off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I expect I hope that"s ok through you stranger from the coffee home.
Ross: well then I didn"t have to bother you or the four various other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you shelp Phoebe"s never before had a major relationship?
Ross: of course she has. if she"d never before had actually a significant partnership I"d go round broadspreading it prefer some unstoppable moron.
Mike: yet you did say it
Ross: yes, yes I did. and also I will additionally say what I"m around to say Vis-�-vis the adhering to Phoebe has actually never had actually a major connection considering that her. super-serious relationship through. Vicrum.
Ross: WHAT THAT"S A REAL NAME!
Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma wbelow the wind comes sweeping dvery own the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn"t they have actually sent me to Texas? 7 o clock perhaps I"ll hit the gym (sits down) that am I kidding pay-per-see porn.
-Cuts to Monica (She"s simply arrived exterior his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and also enter)
Chandler: DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: (smiles)
Monica:: is whatever all right?
Chandler: everything"s good, simply watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surpclimb. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming approximately reasoning Chandler was offering himself a treat to sharks.)
Monica:: I"m gonna go freshen up ok
Chandler: Ok honey. that was cshed.
-Cut to Rachel (Phone ringing)
Monica:: Hey Rach its me ok I simply got the Chandler"s room and also I captured him molesting himself.
Rachel: Oh that couldn"t have actually been pretty. however you understand guys execute that.
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was obtaining off to a shark assault show!
Monica:: Yes! Chandler Watches Shark Porn!
Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that"s what he was doing?
Monica:: carry out you know just how many kind of times I"ve watched him jump up favor that, think me I recognize what he was doing.
Rachel: male sharks. I always knew tbelow was somepoint weird around that dude. But you promised to love him no issue what.
Monica:: what implies if he gets choose a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey men are simply various, they like things that we can not understand, you understand I once dated this male who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and also I was a naughty cave woguy that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica:: Eww are you talking around my bother.
Rachel: yeah I didn"t disguise that very well did i.
Joey: (enters) Hey
Rachel: (sits down) Hi
Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and fifty percent means with our date I realized I already slept through her.
(Monica makes a stvariety face and sits down)
Rachel: so basically you"ve slept via all the womale in New York and currently you"re simply going around aobtain.
Joey: well that"s not also the weird component. I do not think she remembered resting with me.
Monica:: But you do not remember sleeping with her.
Joey: yeah yet she should remember resting through me I am extremely memorable, you guys know.
Rachel: what, exactly how carry out we understand, we never before slept via you.
Joey: and also who"s fault is that.
Monica:: what"s the huge deal, you foracquired, she forgot, probably you were having an off night
Joey: HEY! I never before have an off night ok although sometimes as soon as I"m a small bloated I do not feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I"M BETTER THEN MOST!
Monica:: Honey why do not you simply let it go and also ask her out aget.
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don"t even remember who you"ve slept through, you"re made for each other.
Joey: Interesting. all right I"ll go out with her again and also attempt to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
Monica:: Joey, Joey.
Monica:: you don"t think sharks are sexy do you?
Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?
(Monica simply looks at him, and also Rachel desires to laugh)
Phoebe: It"s open.
Phoebe: HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances roughly via happiness)
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness via her by dancing around) quick point, I saw talk to Mike.
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
Ross: oh boy you acquired mad at that component. I discussed tbelow to tell him how good you are however you understand me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and also I ended up telling him that.
Ross: umm. that you had actually a 6 year long relationship with a male called Vicrum.
Phoebe: WHAT! WHY?
Ross: well he appeared to bum tough that you"d never remained in a serious connection.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn"t just had a baby with my finest friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would certainly be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you"ll feel better once you understand a little little around Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he offered to date Oprah. (He renders another wow face)
Phoebe: I"m not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I"m simply gonna be hocolony with him.
Ross: Good yeah just be honest through him.
Phoebe: yeah I"ve nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven"t been in a partnership that lasted much longer then a month. Ok I haven"t had a genuine boyfrifinish you understand if he can not take care of that he deserve to leave. which he will certainly and also that"s ok. so I"ll simply be alone forever before you know alappropriate I"ll be. it"ll be fine. it"ll be fine. I"ll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and also sits dvery own, knock on the door)
Ross: I"ll gain it
Mike: (Ross opens up the door) You understand I"m trying to think of the last time I opened up a door and you weren"t tright here, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there"s simply something umm, there"s somepoint you should know (Pause) Vicrum simply dubbed.
Hayley: so it was sort of a shock after 25 years of marital relationship my parental fees, a perfect couple acquiring divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
Joey: How can you not remember that we slept together?
Hayley: What! When?
Joey: I dunno!
Hayley: I really, really think I would remember sleeping via you
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all appropriate. it was (thinks) a details amount of time back, I was below you were right here, we had actually sex (starts stating the places) here, below, here NOT there. Anything?
Hayley: no it"s not ringing any type of bells.
Joey: my god woman! How many kind of people perform you have to had been with not to remember any type of of this?
Hayley"s roommate: Hey Hayley you"ve really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still obtained it. (Turns earlier to Hayley) so were excellent. (She just glares at him) I"ll let myself out.
Phoebe: .and also I shelp Vicrum you can not just speak to eexceptionally time you acquire lonely you know, you, you offered up that ideal once you slept via Rachel.
Mike: But Rachel I assumed she simply had a baby via Ross
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you recognize Emma"s birth certificate could say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mike: that is so wrong and on optimal of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: I recognize however he call"s and my heart goes to him. You understand that bastard is one smooth talking cost-free lance kite designer.
Mike: I just think there"s somebody much better out tbelow for you, (pause) I expect I"m not saying me yet. possibly me.
Mike: and you don"t need to concern about glue sniffing via me. although I perform smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anymethod I just think I have the right to make you happy.
Phoebe: ok I can not carry out this.
Mike: what"s wrong?
Phoebe: well tright here is no Vicrum, Ross made him up bereason I never really have actually been in a irreversible relationship, I"ve never before lived through a male, and also I"ve never also celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that"s as well weird for you and also you wanna leave I totally understand. In truth I"ll cshed my eye"s make it much less awkward (She sits through her eyes closed and also Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens up her eyes and choose a tiny son says.) You kissed me.
Mike: uh huh
Phoebe: so you don"t think I"m a full freak
Mike: No. well look deserve to I think your weird and also cool for telling me the reality and also likewise wanna kiss you.
Phoebe: I guess so, have the right to I. deserve to I think it"s cool that you kiss me and also also wanna kiss you aget (they acquire closer to kiss and also Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretfinishing to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Chandler: Hi honey I"m home!
Monica:: Hi, exactly how was your flight? (She hugs him)
Chandler: oh it was excellent.
Monica:: Here why don"t you sit dvery own, get yourself comfortable bereason I. (Monica reflects him the tape then puts it in) have actually a tiny surpclimb for you.
Chandler: well, well, well it have to be five in Tulsa bereason it"s six o clock IN NY.C!
Monica:: Ok (sits dvery own alongside him) This is how a lot I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler"s neck.)
Chandler: (Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming roughly.
Monica:: Is this not the excellent part? Do you want me to quick forward to something a little toothier.
Chandler: no I"m not quite certain you obtained the appropriate movie that"s all.
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had actually at our video save, but they did have actually something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Chandler: does what constantly need to be sharks.
Monica:: Honey look we deserve to carry out somepoint else, do you desire me to get right into the tub and thrash.
Chandler: What"s going on?
Monica:: sweetie it"s ok, I still love you, let me be a component of this.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Monica:: I witnessed what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks revolve you on!
Chandler: no they don"t
Monica:: then why were you watching them and also offering YOURSELF a treat.
Chandler: OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was simply watching constant porn
Chandler: yeah just some great old fashion girl on girl Amerihave the right to activity.
Monica:: I cannot tell you just how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Chandler: You are an remarkable wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you"re impressive you were actually gonna do this for me, I suppose wright here carry out you find the strength and also knowledge over something prefer that.
Monica:: Im incredibly, very drunk appropriate now.
(They hug, Scene fades to black)
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) check out ordinarily I would talk to her, however my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep via her?
Phoebe: you recognize perhaps this is a wake up call, around your totality dating mindset. Your in your thirty"s and you"ve never before had a major relationship and also you have actually never before been in a long term relationship, right here you go from woguy to womale, meaningless suffer to meaningmuch less experience never before also worrying that it doesn"t tern right into anything significant.
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Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets approximately go and soptimal to the girl and he transforms ago and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.