I"m Zachary Zane, a sex writer and moral manwhore (a sophisticated means of saying I sleep via a lot of civilization, and also I"m extremely, very open around it). Over the years, I"ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and also resting through hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I"ve learned a thing or 2 about navigating worries in the bedroom (and a bunch of various other areas, TBH). I"m below to answer your a lot of pressing sex concerns through thoturbulent, actionable advice that isn"t just "interact through your partner," because you understand that currently. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sdescribe It.

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Dear Sdefine It,

For a while, my girlfriend had actually been telling me she wants to attempt brand-new points in the bedroom. Recently, she surprised me via what I’d speak to “gay dirty talk.” She collection this scenario wbelow she was a guy, and we were in the men’s locker room. She was whispering in my ear exactly how she "observed me changing" and also then "pushed me into the showers" to "fuck me via her big dick." She ate my ass, something I"d never before done before, however really preferred. She kept saying, “You favor this gay shit, don’t you?” and also demanded I contact her daddy. (She loves the podactors “Call Her Daddy.”) I ended up cumming so difficult.

Due to the fact that then, I’ve been reasoning around what it would certainly feel favor to bottom for a dick. I’ve never thought of myself as being bisex-related, but probably I am? It’s weird because I’ve never before uncovered myself attracted to men. I guess I’m simply really perplexed about whether this is some type of unwidespread kink or if I’m actually bi. My GF and I are in a monogamous connection, so I can’t simply go out and check out. Help!

—Craving GF Prick


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Dear Craving GF Cock,

Your girlfriend sounds awesome. Setting an erotic scene and also not being afraid to eat her man’s ass? Legendary. Not to cite exactly how turned on she gained in the time of it. QUEEN! What a lucky man you are. But let’s acquire to the meat of your question here: Are you bi, or is this a kink?

It would certainly be reckmuch less for me to claim whether you’re bi or not with such little bit information. Besides, that’s somepoint only you deserve to number out for yourself. That shelp, I still think I deserve to aid you by offering a little even more understanding right into why you may enjoy gay roleplay, regardless of your sex-related orientation.

Years ago, I dated a woguy who had actually this one kink that turned her on more than anything: pegging men while calling them gay slurs. It was her thing. I remember asking her, "Are these guys closeted gay or bisexual?" She said that a couple might be, but the majority were directly. This puzzled me at the time. How might these males not be closeted, confused, or queer in some capacity?

Now that I"ve end up being an expert in the sex room, I deserve to ultimately answer this question, and also in doing so, aid to sort out your instance.


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The initially thing to note is that a right male could be turned on in this scenario by the transition in conventional sexual power dynamics. We"re taught that guys, the penetrative partners in hetero sex, are supposed to be dominant, and women are intended to be submissive. While tbelow are definitely power bottoms that manage the present while being penetrated, it’s a lot easier to autumn into a submissive role as soon as being fucked. So once you’re getting penetrated—either via a penis, strap-on, or fingers—you’re not necessarily obtaining aroprovided by the reality that a “dick” is inside of you; rather, you could be enjoying the even more vulnerable/submissive role. The desire to be overcame has actually nothing to perform through being right, gay, or bi. For some men, it’s just really arousing.

The second thing to remember is that enjoying butt stuff doesn’t make you gay. People through a penis—regardless of sexual orientation—have actually a prostate that feels damn excellent when appropriately stimulated. I noticed that you shelp you want to “bottom for a dick.” You didn’t specify a man’s dick. It sounds choose you crave the act of being penetrated, which is why I think you must absolutely attempt pegging through your GF. (Given just how awesome your GF is, I think she will certainly be right into it.)

The third thing going on below is the "taboo" element. Being into dudes is still considered taboo, as is parsoaking up butt stuff. While these things shouldn"t be taken into consideration taboo, they are. And doing taboo shit—somepoint you recognize you shouldn’t be doing—is hot. For example, I love watching faux incest mom-kid porn. Do I desire to actually have actually sex with my mother? Obviously not. But perform I get turned on watching sons fuck their moms because I recognize that incest is wrong? Absolutely.


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Last yet not least, there’s also a humiliation facet you could uncover aroutilizing. While this shouldn’t be the situation in 2021, being referred to as gay is still derogatory—it’s still an insult hurled at men once they’re not exuding toxically masculine traits. So when your girlfrifinish states, “You like this gay shit?” and also you reply, “Yes, daddy,” it’s less about whatever before you’re doing, and also even more around the reality that she’s humiliating you for liking somepoint that culture has considered to be immoral. You, my frifinish, might have a tiny humiliation kink.

I know it"s tempting to gain a clear-reduced answer on what your sexuality is, yet honestly, I wouldn"t anxiety around the label. Are you satisfied in the bedroom? If the answer is yes, then store doing what you"re doing. From the sound of it, you’re living your best sex life with a super cool girlfrifinish. You may notification in time that you are craving real-life dick from a guy. At that suggest, you deserve to explore it. You deserve to watch gay porn, or probably also talk to your girlfrifinish about having an MMF threesome. Once again, your girlfrifinish is awesome, so I think she’d be down.

In the meantime, don’t let the preoccupation via whether or not you’re bi impede you from enjoying your sex life. I know it’s simpler sassist than done, yet your sex-related identity will certainly be revealed in due time. Don’t overanalyze it. Just call her daddy.

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Zachary ZaneZachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and also activist whose occupational focuses on way of living, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.
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