Few of Road House‘s many would-be idioms and also aphorisms are afforded as grand also a debut as, arguably, the dumfinest of them all. You have the right to give thanks to Red West, the actor who plays Red Webster (you can’t spell “Red Webster” without “R-E-D-W-E-S-T”), for that. The man sells eincredibly line of down-residence wisdom and ain’t-that-a-kick-in-the-head fatalism prefer Pete Stroudenmire sells roomy family-friendly vehicles throughout Wagon Days. You have the right to of course likewise give thanks to Rowdy Herrington, the film’s director, and also John F. Link and Frank J. Urioste, the film’s editors, that grind everything to a halt so Red deserve to provide it virtually ideal right into the camera prior to a tough reduced to the topless bar wright here we first fulfill Wade Garrett. The line all however takes off its own top and also dances about on phase in a g-string, that’s just how much attention it gets.

You are watching: Does a hobby horse have a wooden

Ah, what line, you ask, and also I’m glad you did.

Picture it: Jasper, Missouri, 1989. A young cooler, brand-new in town, visits the tiny company owned by Red Webster, uncle of the most beautiful woman he’s ever before seen. Red keeps a babsence and also white glamour shot of his niece on the wall of his worklocation, piercing the young cooler’s heart, and increasing even more concerns than it answers. On the way right into the save the cooler passes by two incredibly handsome goons, that stare at him and also smile, like crocodiles eyeing a wildebeest at the watering hole, or like Brad Wesley looking at literally anypoint at any point in the whole movie. The cooler discovers that the keep has been ransacked. Frightened, he transforms to the uncle of the woman he loves and also says…

DALTON: What happened? Did you obtain robbed?

RED: Eextremely week.

Dalton pauses to contheme the sultry black and also white photo of Red’s niece hanging on the wall alongside his company license, the two cornerstones of any type of effective enterpclimb.

DALTON: So what does he take?

RED: Who?

DALTON: Brad Wesley.

RED: Ten percent—to start. Oh it’s it’s all legal-choose. He developed “The Jasper Improvement Society.” All the businesses in town belengthy to it.

DALTON: Everybody pay?

RED: Does a hobbyhorse have actually a wood dick?

Oh it’s all aphorism-prefer. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” “Is the Pope Catholic?” This is expected to be a question choose that, one that all yet answers itself in the affirmative and in so doing illustprices exactly how obvious the answer wregarding start through. But, and also possibly you’ve currently watched the issue here, there’s one crucial difference between those sayings and this one.

Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes, that’s wbelow bears shit.

Is the Pope Catholic? Yes, the Holy Father is a member in great standing of the Roman Catholic Church.

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Does a hobbyhorse have a wood dick?


No. <pausage for laughter> No!

The answer to “Does a hobbyhorse have a wooden dick?” is intended to be “yes,” clearly. But no, a hobbysteed does not have actually a wood dick. I’m not sure why it would?

However the line is uttered with such complete conviction that I’ve uncovered myself second-guessing the answer. Does a hobbyhorse have a wood dick? Is tbelow a babsence industry for anatomically correct hobbyhorses of which I am unaware? Do they make the rounds on the auto-supply circuit, as gag presents maybe, or as a tiny somepoint one-of-a-kind out earlier conserved for just the best customers? What does Red Webster understand that I don’t? A lot, I assume. A entirety lot.