You are watching: Deal with it! you cannot conquer what you will not confront
Feb 5, 2006
About the author
Deal With It! - Paula White
See more: Which Part Of The Rami Communicantes Contains Unmyelinated Fibers
PRAISE FOR DEAL WITH IT!
"I believe Paula White is on the cutting edge of what God is saying now; not what God was saying, not what God will say—she’s handling the right-currently points of what God is saying. This is a womale that the human being requirements to hear."
—BISHOP T. D. JAKES
Founder and also Senior Pastor of The Potter’s Housage
She has done it again! Paula White has damaged life’s worries dvery own to the lowest widespread denominator and delivered a liberating message of hope through Jesus Christ.
—REVEREND BERNICE KING
Daughter to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
Paula White is a great teacher of God’s word. I believe that she can teach you just how to face the concerns and also get rid of hang-ups so that you can be all that God has created you to be.
Author of the best-marketing book, Knowing God Intimately
"Paula White’s book deals with genuine civilization and real-life issues—with points that civilization don’t talk about, yet have to . . . I think Deal With It! is going to be life changing."
—DARRYL (Former All-Star, New York Yankees) AND CHARISSE STRAWBERRY
"Paula White is among the many significant voices in the body of Christ today, that by method of her personal pain has actually an effective triumphant message to release you from the bondage of pain in your own life. . . I urge you to . . . open the windows of your spirit to the message Paula White is around to release. Yes, you have the right to Deal With It!"
—DR. MARK CHIRONNA
Overseer of Master’s Touch International Church
What God has done via Pastors Randy and also Paula White is impressive. God is remarkable . . . To check out what the Lord has actually done with them is proof that God will certainly do the exact same with you.
Bestmarketing writer of Good Morning, Holy Spirit
"Paula White is the genuine deal, and also Deal With It! offers you the devices to resolve those concerns that we all desire to overlook."
"I think the thing I relate to the most around Paula is that she . . . calls it favor it is, she doesn’t pull punches, and also what she says is more than a philosophy—it really functions. Pastor Paula’s new book, Deal With It!, is awesome. It’s complete of life lessons that are really handy, hard-hitting solutions."
"Joni and also I love and appreciate Paula White and also her anointing. She is an anointed minister of the Gospel, she is a good blessing, and we love and also appreciate her and also Randy extremely a lot. You are going to be so blessed by Deal With It! "
—MARCUS AND JONI LAMB
Founders of Daystar Television Network-related
"I’ve well-known Paula White for many kind of years now and also I am informing you that the book that she has released, Deal With It!, is a book that you need to have. It will absolutely display you action by step exactly how you have the right to be an overcomer and just how you can win no issue what happens in your life—God is for you!"
Pastor, Free Chapel Worship Center
"Once aget, Paula White is teaching us just how to be overcomers. It’s not what you achieve in life that makes you that you are—it’s what you conquer. You should obtain Deal With It!"
— HARRY AND SHERYL (former Miss America) SALEM
"Paula White is a gift to the body of Christ . . . Her brand-new book, Deal With It!, will be a blessing to you, bereason you cannot conquer what you will not face. Buy it, and also share it with your friends and family members."
—DR. FRANK M. REID, III
Sr. Pastor, Bethel Housage of God
"Paula White is at the forefront of what God is doing on the Earth this particular day. She is a message to this generation . . . Deal With It! is going to help you address all the problems that you have actually in your life."
Wife of Michael Pittguy of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
"Paula White is stamina and courage . . . Deal With It! is exceptionally basic. It teaches you how to address problems in life as a wife, as a mother, and as a expert. It’s a book for guys too. So men, put dvery own your remote, collection the footsphere aside, and also pick up this book—it is powerful."
—JUAN AND JANETTE LONG
YOU CANNOT CONQUER WHAT
YOU WILL NOT CONFRONT
All rights booked. No portion of this book might be reproduced, stored in a retrieval mechanism, or transmitted in any type of create or by any kind of means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other-except for brief quotations in critical reviews or write-ups, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Publimelted in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelboy. Thomas Nelson is a registered tradenote of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Thomas Nelchild, Inc., titles might be purchased in mass for educational, business, fund-elevating, or sales promotional usage. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets
Scriptures marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Scriptures.
Printed in the United States of America
First and also foremany, say thanks to You, Lord, for Your unfailing love and Your greatness. You are amazing! Words will certainly never before articulate my love and also desire for you.
To my husband also, my coach, my finest friend and covenant partner, Randy, that urges and also inspires me to be all that God has actually destined for me. You are a rare gem that becomes even more useful each day. My love for you is indescribable.
To my four children—Bradley, Brandon, Angie and Kristen. You are my joy and impetus. You have my heart! I think in you and am so proud of you.
To my spiroutine father and mother, Bishop T. D. and First Lady Serita Jakes. Your wisdom and guidance have actually been inhelpful and also have aided mold me and navigate the destiny of my life. I honor you and also love you.
To the staff of Paula White Ministries and Without Walls International Church. Thank you for faithtotally serving the Lord and your diligence to bring the vision to pass. Great will be your reward.
To my extended family members and friends, whom I love and appreciate.
And to my World Partners. Without you, Paula White Ministries would not be what it is today. Thank you for believing in a messed up Mississippi girl with a large God and a big dream. With Each Other we are transforming stays, healing hearts and also conserving souls.
You Cannot Conquer What You Will Not Confront
A perboy through my background just can’t succeed.
If I could just discover Prince Charming to love me . . .
What carry out you intend, I have to readjust my life?
Everybody desires a bigger item of me.
You simply don’t understand just how deeply I’ve been hurt.
I can’t stand that woman!
7. Mary Magdalene
My name is mud, and it always will certainly be.
8. The Shunammite Woguy
Freaky Freddie isn’t coming via for me.
9. The Daughters of Zelophehad actually
I have actually a hunch I’m being ripped off.
Why is this happening to me?
About the Author
YOU CANNOT CONQUER WHAT
YOU WILL NOT CONFRONT
Mirror, mirror, on the wall . . .
Many of us grew up understanding the conclusion to that line from a children’s fairy tale. We all, of course, desire the mirror to answer us, "You are the fairest of them all!" Or if not the fairest, at least the smartest, wealthiest, most capable, renowned, powerful, talented, necessary . . . or spiritual.
But what does the mirror really say?
What does the mirror of the heart really reflect back to us?
This book is based on a premise:
You can’t conquer what you will not confront.
And you can’t face what you don’t determine.
Each of us bears the duty for looking into the mirrors of our own souls and dealing through what we watch tright here.
If you are unwilling to recognize, and also then challenge, the major problems of life, you can’t be truly effective in the eyes of the Lord and also achieve the destiny complete of promise and also provision that He has for you. You cannot live a joyful, purposeful, fulfilling life of destiny unless you recognize and face anypoint that would certainly store you from being successful in His eyes.
I certainly understand that to be true in my individual life.
Many kind of years earlier once I first met my husband, Randy, I uncovered myself struggling through those is he the one? inquiries. Randy hadn’t appeared at all my type as soon as we initially met, but the even more I acquired to know him, the even more I favored him. We started to date, and also I shortly realized I was falling in love through him.
At that suggest, I started to put up a wall surface in my heart. Be careful! my heart shelp. If he gets to recognize the genuine you, he’ll disapprove you simply prefer all the others have! Subconsciously even even more than consciously, I concluded, Don’t let him hurt you! If you let him gain any kind of closer or discover any kind of more around you, he’ll walk out.
Old hurts and also emotions from my childhood and teen years started to bubble up and I felt myself instinctively to be in danger of being exposed, injured, and also abandoned. So I did what I had always done when I discovered myself with those feelings—I started to try to manipulate the connection to my benefit.
Tright here was just one difficulty. Randy, unfavor every guy I had actually recognized prior to him, refprovided to be manipulated!
One evening we quarreled over somepoint I had actually done, and also as soon as Randy confronted me about it, I began to pull out all of my same old excprovides and also defenses. Randy additionally challenged me around my manipulative actions, and also a heated discussion decreated right into an all-out argument. The more I felt myself shedding ground, the better the wall climbed inside me and the even more I resorted to my usual techniques.
When theatrical speaking and also gesturing failed, I dropped to the floor, pulled my knees to my chest in a fetal place, and also cried my very own brand also of crocodile tears. I punctuated my words via good gasps of air and heaving sobs. I was completely prepared to hyperventilate if important as I screamed out the bits and also phrases of my well-rehearsed role, You don’t know! You don’t understand! Your daddy didn’t commit suicide! You were never abused!
I was specific Randy would reach dvery own and wrap his solid arms around me to comfort me. I was confident he would certainly organize me and also stroke me in sympathy, and also that we would certainly ultimately gain to the kiss-and- make-up stage.
But Randy didn’t do any of what I intended.
Long, sluggish, agonizing seconds turned right into a minute . . . then two. Finally I opened one eye and also slightly lifted my head to check out if he was still in the room. He was.
Randy was standing numerous feet ameans, staring at me via a stern look on his face. His words were not at all the ones I had actually anticipated—or the ones I felt certain I would hear as I silently pleaded through him making use of a pity-me gaze.
Rather, Randy shelp sindicate and strongly, When you desire to act choose an adult and also talk to me . . . then we’ll talk. When you’re prepared to deal with this in a rational way . . . contact me.
And he walked out.
I cried even louder, but he didn’t come back. I paced the floor and also my self-pity turned to anger. How might he be so unsympathetic? How could he be so cold? How can he treat me that way?
After a pair of hrs of fuming and weeping, I crawled into bed, reasoning, Sucount he’ll contact me.
But he didn’t.
We had actually been having dinner together almost eexceptionally night. Sudepend he’ll present up for dinner through a bouquet of my favorite flowers, I believed.
But he didn’t.
We had been talking 4 or 5 times on most days, and eincredibly time the phone rang, I was sure he was on the various other end of the line, ready to apologize and sympathize.
But no call came.
Two days passed . . . then 3, 5, eight . . . and finally ten days. I made a decision I might be simply as stubborn as he was. Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen days. No speak to. No note in the mailbox. No call. Finally, I sat before my mirror in the bathroom and stared long and tough at the sad, tear-drained person staring ago at me. I took a lengthy, hard look at myself—not simply at my appearance, yet at my life.
What was the problem?
Who had actually the problem?
What was the solution?
Who had the answer?
I picked up the phone and also referred to as Randy. He answered via a really pleasant, "Oh, I watch you’re prepared to act choose an adult. You’re all set to deal with this. Now we can work-related via it."
The 2 weeks of silence between us had actually appeared like an eternity. I was glad we were back in communication, however deep inside, I additionally knew that I had actually monupsychological concerns I needed to resolve. But how? Where have to I turn? What must I do?
I lastly picked up my Bible and organized it up to the Lord. I said, Lord, I don’t desire to be going approximately this mountain when I’m forty or fifty years old. I don’t want to be on my third or fourth marital relationship, dealing with the exact same issues and harms deep in my soul. Assistance me!
I started to diligently dissect my Bible, and specifically the womales of the Holy bible. They came to be my mentors, my function models. I uncovered that the women of the Scriptures additionally had faced extremely major issues, and that in their lives they had actually uncovered some very necessary principles and had actually acquired some very necessary answers.
What I learned from them, I trust you will certainly likewise learn from them.
If you are willing to recognize, confront, and also dominate the issues of your life— to truly attend to them—God will certainly heal you, reclaim you, and also lead you into the destiny that He has planned for you, a destiny that is beyond your wildest dreams.
2 GOD’S WORD ON RUTH
Ruth was a Moabitess. She prospered up on the high plateau southern of the Arnon River, throughout the moment of the Israelite judges, as part of a nation that worshipped the false god Chemosh. She married right into a Hebrew family members that came to Moab from Bethlehem to escape a famine. Naomi was Ruth’s mother-in-legislation. After the husbands of both Naomi and Ruth died, Naomi determined to go back to Bethlehem. Ruth refused to be left behind. She went with Naomi to Bethlehem and started a brand-new life. She functioned in the barley fields of Naomi’s loved one Boaz, gleaning the edges of the grain area. She ultimately won the respect and also love of Boaz, that took her as his wife. The Scripture recommendation for Ruth’s story is Ruth 1:16–22, and also you will certainly discover it in the Appendix to this book.
A perchild with my background simply can’t succeed.
A component from the unnamed woman in Proverbs 31, Ruth is the only woguy in the Bible that is dubbed a virtuous woguy. That wasn’t, but, a description that came from her beforehand years.
Ruth was born and also increased in Moab, and the Moabites venerated a god by the name of Chemosh. Part of this incredibly lewd create of worship affiliated the sacrifice of young children to Chemosh as an providing (see 2 Kings 3:27). The mentality of all the Moabite civilization was distorted by this idolaattempt. A society that sacrifices young youngsters is a culture that has incredibly bit value for life or family. We have the right to conclude from the setting of her childhood and also teenage years that Ruth was exposed to a highly perverse society and the worst develops of huguy habits.
Moab was thought about a cursed area by the Jewish world. Centuries before, Abraham’s nephew, Lot, had escaped Sodom via his two daughters. Lot’s wife looked ago and also came to be a pillar of salt. Lot and also his 2 daughters controlled to hide out in the mountains after Sodom and also Gomorrah were damaged by fire and also brimrock. The daughters, no doubt reasoning that they and also their father were the only 3 world left alive on the entire earth, got their father drunk on 2 successive nights. They each had actually sex through their father and also they each came to be pregnant by him. One of the children born out of this incest was named Moab. His descendants were the Moabites.
Because of the sin in which he was born, Moab and the country that he created was accursed. God’s Word tells us that tbelow was no dancing, no praise, no gladness in the fields, and no joy in the streets of Moab because it was a cursed area. The Bible states this about Moab: ‘Fear and the pit and the snare shall be upon you, O inhabitant of Moab,’ states the LORD (Jer. 48:43).
Can you imagine what it can have been like to flourish up in this lifemuch less, idolatrous, sorrow-filled place? Those who worship idols are always disappointed and also bitter to some degree because no idol have the right to offer a person life or blessing or a future. The idol worshiper invariably hregarding come face-to-challenge through the fact that he is worshipping a self-made, dead, lifeless god. What can be even more sorrowful than taking the body of a dead kid from prior to the altar of a dead god? A soul of death hung over Moab, Ruth’s homeland. She prospered up under the oppression of that heart. Her upbringing was incredibly various from that of the male she married.
Ruth ended up being the wife of Chilion, the child of Elimelech and Naomi. Elimelech was a Jewish farmer that had actually pertained to Moab with his wife and also 2 sons to escape a severe famine that had actually carried all of Judah to the allude of starvation. Elimelech and also Naomi were from Bethlehem. Both of their sons—Mahlon and also Chilion—married Moabite girls. The older kid married a woman named Orpah. The younger kid married Ruth.
Now, it was acceptable in Moab for a Moabite girl to marry a Jewish boy, but it was not acceptable in the Jewish heritage for a Jewish boy to marry a Moabite girl. Even if nopoint was said out in the open up, tright here had actually to have actually been an underexisting in that residence that somepoint wasn’t quite ideal.
Mahlon and Chilion were supposedly susceptible to sickness. Mahlon’s name implies puny—he may have actually been born prematucount. Chilion’s name indicates unhealthy. Both of these men passed away young. Elimelech also passed away. Naomi discovered herself a widow via 2 widowed daughters-in- law.
Ruth, that had actually lived under the shadow of fatality all her life, had actually encountered even even more death. She who had actually well-known the bitterness and disappointment that are part of idol worship now discovered herself living with a mother-in-law that was bitter and disappointed.
All of these points need to have actually played a part in making Ruth who she was. Experiences such as the ones she had actually, and also the atmosphere of the atmosphere in which she lived, need to have had an influence on her psyche. We deserve to say that our setting doesn’t influence us, or that the comments of other human being don’t have actually an influence on us, yet deep inside, we know that isn’t true.
In the light of her past and the occasions of her existing, there was something good about Ruth—she increased above her previous. She had an capacity to look at her previous and existing and also say, I want no even more of this. I want something better. I want something even more.
After the fatality of the guys in this family members, Naomi heard that the famine was over in Bethlehem, and also she determined to rerotate residence. She began her journey via both of her daughters-in-regulation by her side, but along the method, she quit and told them to turn roughly and go back to Moab—to go back to their people and their gods. One daughter-in-legislation agreed and returned. But Ruth loved Naomi and also clung to her (Ruth 1:14).
Naomi sassist to these young women, Go back to your families. Go back to the custom-mades and means in which you were increased. I’m going to a area that is unacquainted to you.
Ruth refprovided to rerotate and said, Your human being shall be my people, and your God, my God (Ruth 1:16). Ruth wanted the customizeds and also traditions and also God of Naomi. She was saying to her, I’m going wright here I’ve never before been to develop something I’ve never before had actually . . . bereason in discovering you, Naomi, I’ve pertained to love you. I’ve pertained to recognize your God and also love your God. I’m willing to go where I have never been to become something I desire to be.
Ruth well-known that she had actually already competent her past, and she hadn’t chosen it. There was nothing left that had actually any kind of worth to her. She made an option.
Millions of people are wbelow Ruth remained in that moment. They each have actually a past they wish they can forget. They’ve already competent their pasts, and what they experienced brought them nopoint yet pain and also heartache. They watch nothing of worth in the pasts they’ve lived.
Are you there?
Is your past one that you wish you had never before lived?
Is your previous something that you want to continue to relive aget and again?
You cannot enter your tomorrow as lengthy as you hold on to your previous. You must let go.
This is frequently less complicated said than done. For many type of of us, our pasts hold brokenness, disappointment, and also scars from life’s tragedies, and we are still living out the consequences of our failures and also foolish options. You can think that letting go of the negative points in the past would be easy—yet regularly in a twisted, distorted way, we organize on to our pasts bereason they are something via which we are familiar. There’s a sense of defense in holding on to the acquainted . . . even if the acquainted is poor.
Often we are afrhelp to enter the future bereason it is unrecognized and also unacquainted. Even though it may be a lot better than our previous, we haven’t been tright here yet. It isn’t what we’re offered to. Therefore, we drag the